Any Encouragement...

Philippians 1:27-2:4 (TNIV)

"Whatever happens, as citizens of heaven live in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the one Spirit, striving together with one accord for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

Since I was 10, there has only been one thing I have ever wanted to do with my life - missions.  It is quite funny because I didn't even become a believer in Jesus until 4 years later.  At that point, my life took a dramatic turn.  Everything I did was preparation for the "calling."  I studied hard and started taking short term trips anywhere I was given the opportunity all in the hope of finding that one field, one people group, one love.

20 years later, I am still taking short term trips.  I have a seminary education. I work for my school, and still the only thing I want to do and feel like I am supposed to do is to serve internationally.  

Amanda and I send out newsletters chronicling our adventures and to so many it seems that we have an exciting life.  In everything we do, we seek a greater purpose. She reads adventure books, biographies telling about what others have done, and I get lost in Fantasy and SciFi.  On the outside all is well, and it seems as though we are struggling like everyone else to live the American dream of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

The truth is we have one problem and in the eyes of missions organizations, it is a HUGE problem.  Since I am from a middle class family who made too much money to receive aid from any school or grant issuing institution, I was unable to finance my education by any other source than student loans.  Most missions organizations require at least 30 credits of bible and theology.  To do this, I had to add onto my undergraduate student loans to get my Masters from Multnomah.  Now we are strapped with inequitable debt and we are the lepers of the Missions community.

Dreams squashed.  Hopes failed.  Nowhere to turn.

The trouble is, I can't help but hope.  That's why this hurts so much.  If I have any of what is mentioned in the verses above, I must hope...Hope that God really is doing something.  Hope that my loans will not always hold us back.  Hope that my dreams have not been in vain.

A month ago, I read this:

"Dare to hope—in a world full of change, there are fewer words of stronger courage then these. To dare to hope is to dare to truly live, to live in all of one’s tenses: not simply in the past, or the present, but also to live in expectations of the future. Hope implies a desire within a person for something which might produce happiness, joy, or some sense of fulfillment in a person. So it also implies the lack of something, for who hopes for what one already has? So, to hope implies a state of privation and necessity along, possibly, with the presumption that what one hopes for may not come, or may not come as the person would have it come. These implications all make hoping an act courageous, for who knows if our hopes will be left empty and unfulfilled."

--Daniel Dormaier

(Listen to Everyday Sunday's Holding On)

These words challenge me to hope all the more.  Some things are just worth fighting for.

This past Tuesday Alisha read about Paul's First Missionary Journey and asked our Life Group where we need encouragement and prayer.  I can't stop thinking about it.  Any encouragement...any comfort...any tenderness and compassion...

"Lord, come quickly..."

(Listen to Plumb's In My Arms)

A Million Miles In A Thousand Years

Pigs flew and Satan donned a parka the day BD handed me Donald Miller’s new book, A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, and it excited me. To say our respective choice of literary readings is bipolar seems a meager explanation. However, as depicted by Michelangelo’s The Creation of Adam, sometimes the divine reaches hard to touch humanity.

Two chapters into A Million Miles In A Thousand Years, I was shaking my head in perplexion. My preconceived notions that this was another memoir written similar to Through Painted Deserts, on a bike instead of a Volkswagen van, were being shattered. Ironically, the bicycle spoke cover mis-portrayed the pages within its bound.

Overcoming my disappointment, I trudged forward; little by little being swept into the story about the concept of stories. As one who enjoys writing and storytelling, I found myself relearning the basic concepts of a story; reliving my days in Ms. Grantland’s classroom. As an individual who is clutched tightly within the grasp of a crappy economy, unemployed, eagerly anticipating the ‘next thing’ yet bewildered by the sluggish response, I found myself enamored by the stories of getting up and going. Miller’s practice story of hiking Machu Picchu captivated my adventuresome self. The tales and lessons of riding across the United States made my legs yearn for a long trek. It is not a surprise that his most poignant writings (to me) involved a kayak, a paddle and lots of water.

“The night we left Bob’s dock, I didn’t want to paddle through the night or across the wide inlet. We didn’t leave his dock till after midnight, and we had to paddle for hours through the pitch black, and the middle of the inlet was so large and the dark was so dark we couldn’t make out either shore. We had to guide ourselves by stars, each boat gliding close to another, just the sound of our oars coming in and out of the water to keep us close.

I think this is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore anymore, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their spouses, and they go looking for an easier story.”

When I closed the book in the wee hours of the morning having read the 250 pages, I said to myself that it was a good book but not one of his best. Days later I have proved myself wrong. I continue to mull over its contents, process it among friends, and even shared snippets of it during our life group.

One of the main thoughts I continue to ponder is: Many times we get caught up in the purpose of going, when we really need to just go and purpose will come with the trek.

The downside to the book is that I will probably never watch the film, Blue Like Jazz. Not that this is surprising to those who know me. But, this book made it apparent as to why books rarely transfer well onto the screen and is demonstrated effectively in the screenplay conversations written on the pages.